“All is Completed in Beauty”

Witches Broom NGC6960

Day 10 of my 30-day writing challenge

I’m cheating a bit today, and posting a draft I did a while back during a creative writing workshop I co-taught with a colleague. I don’t plan to post many unpublished poems, because I have (the vaguest of) vague plans in the back of my mind for submitting them for publication someday. But since this one was an exercise, and would need revision before being submission-ready, I think I can safely throw it up. It also fits in well with the Psalms reflections I’ve been posting. The impetus for the poem was the first sentence, “All is completed in beauty” – a quote from a source I unfortunately can’t remember.

It’s untitled for now, because I am the worst at coming up with titles. Suggestions for a title or revisions are welcomed!

(My preview page is not showing stanza breaks, and I’ve noticed this wordpress theme doesn’t show them in published versions either, so I may need to explore alternatives. But the poem is written as three quatrains and a final couplet.)

_______________________________________________

All is completed in beauty. Each rock
spinning alleluias from our silence
knows this in its secret heart. Art realized
from imperfection, anything held back
from full flowering of praise, finds its rest
in this endpoint that is not; transcendence
meaning, as it does, bursts of radiance
into infinity, like stars cresting
from their infant nebulae just beyond
the boundaries of visible light. We know
their warmth by the way the universe folds
around their fires, a lover’s response,
joyful gravity by which we are wooed
to God’s dwelling place, faith’s kingdom, our home.
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(image credit: “Finger of God” Nebula, wikipedia.)

Consider the Pandas (They Toil Not, Neither do they Spin)

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I picked up a book once that gave species grades according to their evolutionary fitness. Lions got A+s. They are the alpha predators in their environment, with many food sources that are well suited to their metabolic needs. Males and females have several biological features that maximize reproduction, and prides raise cubs communally, upping their chance of survival.

Pandas got Fs. Barely.

Why, you ask? Well, for several reasons. Pandas depend on a single food source – bamboo – that they digest poorly. Because bamboo isn’t that nutritious for them, they have to eat a lot of it. All the time. They can’t afford to do much else, metabolically speaking. In addition, bamboo forests don’t exist in many places in the world, and that number is shrinking. As a result, most pandas these days live in captivity.

So there’s the food and environment problem.

Then there’s the reproduction problem, which is related to the other problems. Turns out, pandas in captivity aren’t actually that good at a basic requirement for the survival of a species: having babies. Males out of the wild could care less about mating – even Viagra doesn’t do the trick – meaning females have to be artificially inseminated. Even so, female pandas are only fertile once a year, and they produce few pregnancies and even fewer live births. Then, if a mother happens to have more than one cub (two is usually the limit), she will often leave the weaker to die. You can’t blame her – pregnancy for a panda is a state of slow starvation. She can barely eat enough to sustain herself, much less a gestating or nursing cub. Two is too much to ask.

If pandas were ugly, they’d have gone the way of the dodo a long time ago.

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But something about their fluffy roundness, their big black-rimmed eyes, the rollicking way they tumble around without a care in the world triggers all of our protective instincts.

In a way, pandas have become humankind’s adopted babies. We love them, even though they are totally incapable of fending for themselves. We’ve dedicated millions of dollars and decades of advanced animal husbandry and reproductive science to make sure they don’t cheerfully roll themselves out of existence. We tried to give them Viagra, folks.

In the Luke and Matthew, Jesus invites us to “Consider the lilies of the field.” Wildflowers, he tells us, don’t work for their keep; they don’t put any effort into their food, clothing, or any aspect of their existence. They just are, and beautifully so.

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Jesus adds, “If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans pursue all these things, and your Heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you” (Matthew 6:30-33, Berean Study Bible).

I’ve always loved the analogy in this passage, but I’ve had trouble with it, too. I mean, of course a flower doesn’t have to do anything. It’s a FLOWER.

When I substitute “panda” for “lily,” though, somehow this verse – a gentle admonition to faith, rest, and keeping our priorities in order – sinks in a little more.

Can you picture God as a benevolent panda-keeper, wearing overalls and carrying a basket of bamboo stalks, loving us in our helplessness, and rescuing us from all the ways that we fall short?

All we have to do is put our trust in him.

 

 

Sources (besides the book mentioned in the first paragraph, which I haven’t been able to track down):

Panda image

“Lion Reproduction and Offspring”

“Panda Reproduction”

“Why Panda Mothers Abandon Their Babies” 

Dodo image

Lilies of the field image

“Some silence, some zone of grace”

Day five of my 30-day writing challenge.

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All things aspire to weightlessness,                                   

                                   some place beyond the lip of language,

Some silence, some zone of grace,

Sky white as raw silk,

                                         opening mirror cold-sprung in the west,

Sunset like dead grass.

If God hurt the way we hurt,

                                                       he, too, would be heart-sore,

Disconsolate, unappeasable

– Charles Wright. “Poem Half in the Manner of Li Ho.” Black Zodiac.

 

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Yesterday, on Father’s Day, my mother took white petunias to my father’s grave. He has a marble stone that says “Vietnam” on it, even though he spent his time in the army in Alaska.

My father died just over 22 years ago now, and my mother has been re-married for almost twenty, and she still misses and mourns him. I don’t think I have the license, or even the knowledge, to talk about what she felt when he first died, but I know that she still tears up when she speaks about him for more than a few minutes, and that anniversaries and birthdays are still edged with sadness.

Wright’s poem is uncannily similar to some lines I wrote when I was in training to be a college writing teacher. We were practicing personal essays, and I can’t remember what the prompt was, but I wrote about my father’s decline from a brain tumor – how one of the things that it took from him was language. He first lost certain words – anomia, it’s called – then login codes for his computer (he was a programmer), then struggled for sentences. By the time he slipped into a coma, he had lost his grasp on language entirely.

In my essay, I wondered – as I still do, sometimes – what that was like for for my father to gradually have stolen from him symbols and syllables that once seemed as simple and obvious as his own name. To know exactly what was happening and yet be unable to do anything about it.

What did my father know, in that realm beyond language?  I posed that question in my essay, and although I don’t remember if I used the word “grace,” I think that was the concept I was striving for. I hoped that even if he didn’t have words – even if whole swaths of his experiences and memories had faded to gray – he had access to something real, some truth to hold onto. I know that he knew that he loved us, and we loved him, because “I love you, too” is that last thing I remember him saying, past the time I expected him to say anything at all.

It’s unclear whether Wright’s speaker is expressing doubt or belief in the idea that God can “hurt the way we hurt.” Perhaps he feels a little of both. But I believe in a God that does hurt as we do. I believe that God yearns over creation like a mother yearns for her children to be well and whole and happy. I think that there is something in God that is unappeasable when any of his children are suffering. I think he grieved, and continues to grieve, with my mother. I think he cried tears of rage over the unfairness of my father’s illness. I think that there is a part of God that will never be fully satisfied until every part of his creation is at peace. And I think this is one of the deep consolations of the Incarnation – that Christ, in his full humanness, knew what it was to lose, to experience physical and spiritual torment, to have people let him down, to have things he just could not fix.

I believe that we are never alone in our anguish, no matter how deep and dark the silence. And that, too, is grace.

 

 

God. Goodness. Generosity: Psalm 8 and Genesis 1 and 2.

For Summer 2017, my church is following the Revised Common Lectionary schedule. Every Sunday, someone will be teaching on the Psalm for a week. Every Monday and Friday, one of four writers from our church will be exploring one of the additional passages from that same week. I’ll be cross-posting my reflections here (and, with permission, also posting reflections from the other writers). For Sunday, June 11, the featured Psalm is Psalm 8, and the first linked reading is from Genesis 1:1-2:4a.

Reflect

Psalm 8 shows God’s incredible vastness and power. At the same time, it shows his care for the smallest and most vulnerable of his creatures. This paradox includes humans, who are both insignificant specks in the cosmos, and beings only a “little lower than the angels,” made for an eternal life in God’s presence.

The beginning of Genesis tells the story of this paradox. God creates order out of chaos. He works day by day, with great detail and love. He builds a beautiful world and fills it with life of every kind.

God displays his generosity at every turn. He doesn’t hoard his life-giving creativity for himself. He gives each living being the ability to create more life. Plants produce more plants; animals have baby animals. And he makes human beings in his own image and gives them authority over everything in this new planet.

God is generous to himself as well. He takes a day to enjoy the goodness of what he has made. Then he again extends his generosity to us. He makes the Sabbath holy, so that we also can have a day of rest and enjoyment.

Respond

Part of being made in God’s image is living this cycle of work and rest, creation and enjoyment. How has God been generous to you? Where are you finding new life and goodness? Where are you creating it?

Throughout this week, consider setting aside time a holy time each day. Take at least twenty minutes out of your busy schedule to enjoy God, the goodness of his creation, and his new life in you.

 

Saying “No” to “More”

For Lent, our church is studying and meditating on The Lord’s Prayer. I wrote the following thoughts on the section of the prayer that asks, “Give us this day our daily bread.”

When we ask God to “Give us this day our daily bread,” we are asking him to provide “enough for the day” –  to meet all our emotional, physical, spiritual, and relational needs in the moment. The world we live in, by contrast, tells us we need to constantly seek and achieve more: more wealth, more success, more physical beauty, more feelings of affirmation and excitement.

But the problem with “more” is that it can never be achieved. No matter what you have or do, there could always be more – that’s what makes the very concept so seductive and so destructive. When we chase “more,” we are chasing smoke: a future that will never come to pass. All that lies in that direction is frustration, envy, self-condemnation, and despair.

We need God to give us the wisdom and trust to recognize that he has given us enough. When we are able to look around and realize that God has provided us with enough for this day, we can be at peace. Not later, at some future date, but right now, right here, with the gifts, abilities, and relationships that God has given us.

Reflect and Respond

Ask God to show you all the ways he has given you enough for today. It might help you to write everything down in a journal – that way you can go back later, when you need a reminder.

Thank God for giving you enough for today, and ask him to help you resist the siren call of “more.”